Realizing The Line
Family struggles are getting more and more complicated every day. There are people who spend hours locked up in their rooms because they want to shield themselves from the fights their parents are having. There are people who keep themselves busy outside, so that they don’t have to face the relationships falling apart back at home.
It is very difficult to expect to have a normal healthy life coming from a broken family. Be it the courteous sympathy you receive when people come to know about your complicated family history, or the jeering you get from immature, stupid people, it all makes it impossible to expect a normal life.
However, our individual mental health is the most important, and we must protect it by staying away from toxic relationships. Sometimes, families are saved by letting go of the toxic members. It might be tough, and we are often clueless as to what to do. We only need to know one thing. That is, no matter what, we must not compromise on our ideals, just to make a toxic family stick together.
A lot of times, families don’t get along not due to lack of mutual affection, but just due to the lack of communication. People tend to bury their complaints within as long as they can, and then burst in ways that hurt other things in its way. What we need to do is communicate our problems with each other. If needed, we can ask a friend to help, or seek professional counseling. We must do whatever we can to save what we have with our partners, with our parents, and with our children.
The other side
Why families often break or stay in a silent state of damage is because we do not complain enough, we do not talk. We think that the other person is oblivious of where we stand. But what we do not realize is that it could be the same on the other side.
It is sad that we often mistake a good family to be one of those toxic families we must get out of. Many psychologists claim that the root of all family issues is that people feel unloved because they do not read the language of the other person’s love. Therefore, communication is required to convey to each other that we are important to each other.
When it is not family
Any relationship where there is no mutual love, understanding, and most importantly, respect, is not a family, even if it is bound by blood ties or marriage. Those who are being emotionally abused by their ‘family’, must stand up for themselves, and realize that all the above mentioned advice is not for a toxic family. Family is where you feel at home, and you will find it, if you are brave enough to make room for it.
It is indeed difficult to figure out whether you should try mending a bond, or whether it is not worth it. If you misjudge, forgive yourself, and make amends. Keep moving in the direction of the light, even if it keeps changing from time to time. One day, you will reach it.
Post written by Patricia Garbo, a legal document preparer with Documents Assist, Corp. centrally located in the City of Hialeah in Miami, FL. Patricia is passionate about family law with many years experience preparing divorce documents, quit claim deeds and simple immigration proceedings. She is a proud member of the Florida Association of Legal Document Preprarers. If you need any assistance with a proceeding in the Miami divorce court give her a call with confidence.